Questions about God
I went to service of my own free will for the first time this morning. It was . . . well . . . very different from what I grew up with. Now . . . I don't know. I feel about like I got hit with a very, very, very large lightning bolt. You know, other than the whole getting fried thing. Well, physically at least. Mentally and emotionaly and spiritually . . . well, anyone else care to get dragged through a meat grinder?
About five a.m. Ryan and I hit religion, and for the first time some of Christianity was making sense to me. Then, this morning, I went to the CCF service, since I'd accepted Amara's invitation last week. And they started the "worship"--the hymn, for lack of a better word, though it's nothing like the hymns I grew up with--and I very quickly started bawling. Poor Ryan, when he noticed after the song, didn't have a clue what to do about it.
So, after the service (and not even kind of understanding my feelings, much less WTF was going on) I went to Mab's room and promptly started bawling all over her. Yes, this is a great deal of crying, but you try having someone hurl lightning bolts in an attempt to shatter your world view. She was very helpful--she's one of the best friends a person could ever have--and rather delighted that I was apparently (am I?) finding Christ. She actually told me that she hadn't started working on me--gently, not in the shove-it-down-your-throat manner than Mormonism favors--because I seem to be happy with Wicca.
Well, I was. Thank you so much for interrupting that.
I talked to Mab for a while, and then Mikkel wandered in. His dad's a Lutheren preacher; he helped explain things that are totally foriegn to an ex-Mormon, such as the Trinity, the more common perception of Heaven and Hell, and beliefs concerning where we come from. I think I understand it well enough that I can accept it. Mab lent me her NIV Bible so I wouldn't have to wade though my King James Version, and she says she's going to take me Bible shopping sometime. I'm still not sure I believe this . . . but I'm also not completely sure that I can not.
I mean, how it felt . . . I think that's the closest to true worship I've ever come. I felt so . . . accepted. So much like whatever I have done, it doesn't matter. So much like I am loved, and loved beyond anything comprehensable. It's so strong, and yet so foriegn. It brings tears to my eyes through sheer power. How can I not accept it.
At the same time, how can I?
About five a.m. Ryan and I hit religion, and for the first time some of Christianity was making sense to me. Then, this morning, I went to the CCF service, since I'd accepted Amara's invitation last week. And they started the "worship"--the hymn, for lack of a better word, though it's nothing like the hymns I grew up with--and I very quickly started bawling. Poor Ryan, when he noticed after the song, didn't have a clue what to do about it.
So, after the service (and not even kind of understanding my feelings, much less WTF was going on) I went to Mab's room and promptly started bawling all over her. Yes, this is a great deal of crying, but you try having someone hurl lightning bolts in an attempt to shatter your world view. She was very helpful--she's one of the best friends a person could ever have--and rather delighted that I was apparently (am I?) finding Christ. She actually told me that she hadn't started working on me--gently, not in the shove-it-down-your-throat manner than Mormonism favors--because I seem to be happy with Wicca.
Well, I was. Thank you so much for interrupting that.
I talked to Mab for a while, and then Mikkel wandered in. His dad's a Lutheren preacher; he helped explain things that are totally foriegn to an ex-Mormon, such as the Trinity, the more common perception of Heaven and Hell, and beliefs concerning where we come from. I think I understand it well enough that I can accept it. Mab lent me her NIV Bible so I wouldn't have to wade though my King James Version, and she says she's going to take me Bible shopping sometime. I'm still not sure I believe this . . . but I'm also not completely sure that I can not.
I mean, how it felt . . . I think that's the closest to true worship I've ever come. I felt so . . . accepted. So much like whatever I have done, it doesn't matter. So much like I am loved, and loved beyond anything comprehensable. It's so strong, and yet so foriegn. It brings tears to my eyes through sheer power. How can I not accept it.
At the same time, how can I?
posted by Chailyn Cole Runewood at 7:19 PM
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8 Shades in the Dark:
That's really exciting. I'll be praying for you.
I really appreciate knowing that. Thank you.
oh dear.. if you do turn to the darkside at least buy a copy of Jeffersons Bible - he basically cut all the crap, contradictions and stupidity from the orginal. what was left was a significantly shorter - but all the more credible moral guide from which to lead an ace life. good luck in whateva u choose to do!
xx
Being esoterically active and being a Christian aren't as contradictory as you may well think.
It is true the most Christians won't be able to understand magick or the need for it, and that most Pagans will have difficulty accepting a Christian especially one who "claims" to do magick.
Still I've found you can walk that line if you must, and that even Good Shepards need a sheepdog to help protect the flock.
Jefferson was a political genius, but his picking and choosing what he liked from religion is far too individualistic. Christianity is about joining a community/kingdom, not applying what you like to your own life (despite what pop-Christian authors such as Rick Warren might want you to think).
Christianity may be about joining a community/kingdom – but from my perspective a significantly flawed one. I separate what I class as faith, spirituality and belief from organised religion.
Belief etc comes from within, from the soul – I see the organised physical community of religion as a corrupting factor upon this. The Bible is not the word of God, rather what ancient scholars thought the words of God should be; a fusion of Greek Philosophy from the disciple Paul and the ancient Mosiac Code.
For me the foundation of credible religion comes from inside a person; the belief in Jesus/God and the goodness in man’s heart. Defiantly not from mindlessly following what the Church says.
A few examples of idiocy in the Bible:
In 2 Kings 2:24, God feeds small children to bears.
Would a loving God say this?, "I shall make you eat the flesh of your own sons, I shall make you eat the flesh of your own daughters... You shall be scattered among your enemies and those that survive will live in such terror as to scream at the falling of a leaf." (Leviticus 21:14-40)
God is a rapist. In Samaritans 11:1- 12.25, He punishes King David for rather minor crimes by declaring, "I shall make your wives have sexual intercourse in broad daylight with all your neighbours." And he does.
You can’t criticise Jefferson for getting rid of bile like this. He didn’t pick and choose what he liked from the Bible – the picked and choose what was right. If more people didn’t mindlessly follow outdated religious doctrines, and rather did the right thing, then the world would be a significantly better place.
Buddy, i still await a response
God is fully revealed in Christ, who promotes a peaceable kingdom. Jefferson eliminated much of what Christ did and taught as well, so he threw the baby out with the bathwater.
I'm not familiar with the book of Samaritans, so I can't comment on that.
Your statement that belief comes from inside is hardly self-evident considering communities tend to share similar beliefs, so I don't think the burden of proof lies with me when I disagree with you.
And I can criticize Jefferson, just as you are welcome to criticize me.
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